Friday, December 19, 2008
i've not been myself lately.
very disappointing that i've allowed myself to deterioate to this state.
and the reasons why i've turned into this beast are due to several factors.
probably the lack of sleep,
and the build up of stress due to all of the responsibility to call and organise outings.
i screwed my brain up badly.
to the point where i cannot remember anything that anyone said recently.
i just have too many things to do and attend to.
last but not least, probably the inability to tell anyone about this.
its like a balloon stuffed with water.
but after awhile, the balloon is unable to hold the volume of the water and bursts.
i don't really want to tell anyone because i know the root problem of it all.
hard to tackle the problem cause i'm unable to do it.
anyway, i think i have to put a stop to my endless spending.
no more shopping for me.
just have to stick to my usual clothes to wear when i go out.
went to topman today to buy a shirt.
yellow colour >.< wonder when i will ever wear it. watching the day the earth stood still 2mr. i think i have too many groups of people to go out with. :( ahhhh and its so close to getting our results back! omgomgomg. next week is alr farewell. these 4 years have passed so quickly, its saddening for me to have not been able to grasp the times i spent with my friends. and the several ( well an awful lot) of stupid imbecile mistakes i've made with i've come to regret but its been a rollercoaster ride with more downs than ups.
i don't really know why.
but i feel very dumb.
my memories are fading.
no matter how many times i tell myself.
it isnt going to happen.
somehow or another
i still cant get over it.
i just can't seem to muster the strength to accept reality.
very disappointing that i've allowed myself to deterioate to this state.
and the reasons why i've turned into this beast are due to several factors.
probably the lack of sleep,
and the build up of stress due to all of the responsibility to call and organise outings.
i screwed my brain up badly.
to the point where i cannot remember anything that anyone said recently.
i just have too many things to do and attend to.
last but not least, probably the inability to tell anyone about this.
its like a balloon stuffed with water.
but after awhile, the balloon is unable to hold the volume of the water and bursts.
i don't really want to tell anyone because i know the root problem of it all.
hard to tackle the problem cause i'm unable to do it.
anyway, i think i have to put a stop to my endless spending.
no more shopping for me.
just have to stick to my usual clothes to wear when i go out.
went to topman today to buy a shirt.
yellow colour >.< wonder when i will ever wear it. watching the day the earth stood still 2mr. i think i have too many groups of people to go out with. :( ahhhh and its so close to getting our results back! omgomgomg. next week is alr farewell. these 4 years have passed so quickly, its saddening for me to have not been able to grasp the times i spent with my friends. and the several ( well an awful lot) of stupid imbecile mistakes i've made with i've come to regret but its been a rollercoaster ride with more downs than ups.
i don't really know why.
but i feel very dumb.
my memories are fading.
no matter how many times i tell myself.
it isnt going to happen.
somehow or another
i still cant get over it.
i just can't seem to muster the strength to accept reality.
i know that i have loved you ... at 1:16 AM
fate crumbled all around 0 identities
fate crumbled all around 0 identities